pbp: ms. janet's funeral
alright, i have kept you all waiting long enough. i guess that i should end my teasing and tell you about what i was eluding to in my previous post.
a couple of weeks back my boss, mother, and i attended the funeral of one of my employees. she was in the 60s and had developed lung cancer in the fall that quickly spread throughout her body. the visitation and funeral were on the same day, just about an hour apart. several other staff members went to the visitation and came back to work talking about how few people were there and that hardly any of the family were present. that information kind of made us uncertain about what to expect at this funeral, but we headed out (without directions, of course) to pay our respects to ms. janet.
on our way, we got lost. all the information that we knew for sure was that the church's name was something something holy rosary something, it was located in the ghetto, and we had did have the street name. eventually we called back to work and got the right directions and after we turned around we, of course, ended up getting stuck by a very long train that thought it would be fun to just stop and hang out. 20 minutes later, we arrived at the something, something, holy rosary something church.
to our surprise, there was a huge line of people standing outside of the small church. we pulled around and parked half a block and across the street from the church. as we walked up to the church we realized that they were not letting anyone in, so we just hung out in the warm sunshine. next to us was a stretch hummer. yep, that's right. a stretch hummer at a funeral for the family. as it turned 12pm the funeral staff began to let everyone in. the staff began to hand the attenders programs and a key with ms.janet's picture on it. we walked into the small foyer and tried to look into the sanctuary, but there was no room in the sanctuary and very little room in the foyer. we signed to book and just waited for the service to begin.
the service was fairly typical. there was an old spiritual song sung, a prayer, and then another spiritual song that developed into congregational singing. the parish priest got up and began to speak. during the first song, people became fairly emotional and about six of the young family members got up from the front and went outside to calm their weeping. as they were walking past me, i noticed that one of them had their bluetooth headset on and in her ear. yep, a bluetooth headset on and in her ear at her aunt or mother's funeral. wow.
now, i do not know what normal catholic funeral services consist of, however, this seemed to an odd service sermon. the priest began by talking vaguely about ms. janet (we gathered that he didn't really know her) and about how she loved children, left a large family, and will be missed. he proceeded to talk about how none of us could ever know where she went when she died. he explained that none of us could ever know for certain where we would go when we died. all that we could hope for was that if we were good, believed in God, and tried to help people that when we die we would go to at least purgatory, if not heaven, and not be condemned to hell. he said that we did not know what ms. janet believed, except that she did believe in God. he continued to talk about what a gift life is and that we can reflect on ms. janet by realizing how wonderful life is. the priest continued by telling the congregation that just the past friday his brother (also a priest) was walking back to his church with a friend when a group of three of four young men approached his brother and pulled out a gun to attack him. now, this group did not see the friend because he had gone ahead of the priests brother. when the friend looked back, he screamed at the boys and they scattered. the priest used this story to emphasize the gift that lift is to each of us. now, we are at a funeral. someone is dead in her caset at the foot of his podium and he is speaking about how great life is. ironic? rude? insensitive?
the priest continued and somehow he was able to touch on how the Bible speaks against abortion, gay marriage, and the importance of acts of service. i am still trying to figure out how anit-abortion and gay marriage fits into a funeral service. i can only hope that his sermon lead somehow to the family finding some peace because i left kind of depressed. i feel like his sermon can be summed up by the following: i have no way of knowing where i am going when i die, i can only hope to go to purgatory when i die, life is a gift as long as you don't die, abortion is wrong, and gay marriage should be protested at all costs.
the last speaker was one of ms. janet's sister. she was very well spoken and her speech was written incredibly coherently. she offered encouragement and hope, supported by Bible verses. one interesting thing that did was encouraged everyone in the congregation to talk with their familes about what they want regarding end of life care and for their funeral. she supported everyone writing down their wished in the form of an advanced directive and telling their families where they can find that information, if needed.
the priest closed with a prayer and we cleared the foyer so that the rest of congregation could leave. that service was very interesting. i am not sure what the norm is for funerals, i have only actually been to two and one of them i was too young to remember.
hope that you enjoyed my detailed pbp.
